Spartanburg Divorce Lawyer & Attorney : Stevens-MacPhail Law Firm : South Carolina Family Law Serving Columbia, Charleston, Greenville, Hilton Head Island

From the Minnesota Divorce and Family Law blog:

When a couple gets divorced, and the divorce decree makes one spouse responsible for credit card debt (or other debt), the other spouse should not have to worry about the credit card company contacting them for payment, right? Wrong. The divorce decree determines rights and responsibilities as between the spouses; but in most circumstances, the divorce decree does not affect the rights of third parties.

So, if the credit card company cannot collect from spouse A, the company may try to get payment from spouse B, even if the divorce decree gives spouse A sole responsibility for the debt. If the credit card company obtains payment from spouse B, spouse B's recourse is to get relief through the family court in the form of reimbursement from spouse A for the amount the credit card company got from spouse B.

The family court has the authority to grant that relief because, while the credit card company's collection from spouse B does not technically violate the terms of the decree, spouse A's default on the debt payment, in effect, does violate the terms of the decree, and the family court can remedy that defect.

Source: "Credit Card Companies Don't Care What the Divorce Decree Says" by Gerald Williams, published at his Minnesota Divorce and Family Law blog.

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I see it happen all too often.  Parents get caught up in the heat of battle and lose sight of what is really important in their case -- their children.  Sometimes, the desire to "win" takes over and their responsibility as parents to look out for their children's best interests takes a backseat. 

My friend Michael Sherman has written an excellent article on this very point.  In fact, I think that his post should be required reading for parents before they go through a contested custody case.  You can read Michael's article by clicking HERE.

Source:  "Custody and Welfare of Children" by Michael Sherman, published at his Alabama Family Law Blog.

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Adultery is still one of the leading causes of divorce in South Carolina, and many of these affairs begin online.  Noted private investigator Bill Mitchell has published an article discussing the following 10 Clues of An Online Affair:

1. Your spouse or partner spends excessive time surfacing the internet.
2. Passwords, instant message “buddy lists”, internet email accounts and emails are concealed or even protected from you.
3. Your partner abruptly shuts off the internet and/or computer when you approach.
4. The computer and monitor are always positioned to avoid your scrutiny.
5. The internet history is cleared every day, including chat sessions, instant messaging, or your spouse downloads software that automatically rids this information.
   
6. Your spouse uses the computer after you go to bed, when you fall asleep, or in the middle of the night.
7. Your Spouse exhibits a compulsive need to be online and seems defensive when confronted to stop.
8. Your spouse shares personal information, photos or events with strangers online.
9. He/she plays online games and frequents “personals” chatrooms.
   
10. Your spouse exhibits the eight warning signs illustrated in “The More You Know – Getting the evidence and support you need to investigate a troubled relationship.”

Please note that these above-listed items are discussed in much more detail in Mr. Mitchell's article.  If you suspect that your spouse may be having an online affair (or if you know someone else in that situation), please check out his article for yourself.

Source:  "10 Clues of An Online Affair - Catch A Cheating Spouse!" by Bill Mitchell, published at his Adultery, Infidelity, Affairs, Cheating Spouse, Divorce, Investigations blog.

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The housing market is terrible these days.  In fact, it is so bad that some couples who want to divorce are faced with the difficult and unpleasant decision to (a) postpone their separation/divorce until the housing market rebounds, (b) continue to reside together during the divorce because neither can afford to move until the house sells, or (c) sell the house now for much less that it may be worth.

I have had this exact situation arise in several cases over the last year or so, and it is a difficult problem to work through.  Fortunately, we can usually find a workable solution, but the fact remains that the down market is making an already tough situation that much more difficult for many people

The San Francisco Chronicle published an article a few months ago, "Breaking Up Is Harder to Do -- The Housing Bust's Influence on Divorce", that analyzed this exact situation.  I recommend it to anyone that is facing these issues.

Thanks to Alan R. Nye of the Maine Divorce Law Blog for his post about this subject.

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In Family Court cases, one cannot overstate the importance of being able to prove your allegations.  Many of these cases are "he said / she said", so having the ability to give specific detail is particularly important.  In contested cases, I encourage my clients to keep journals for me so that we can later document specific dates and times that important events occurred.

Chris Schmiedeke of the Texas Family Law Blog blogged on this subject, and he agrees that journaling is important.  He points out that the problem with most stories and allegations in custody and visitation modification cases is that they are coming from memory. This creates two problems, one they cannot recall the story exactly, or most importantly they cannot put a date on it. This creates unreliability in the evidence. It also creates a he said, she said scenario.

Client: "My ex never exercises his visitation and when he does, he is always late."

Lawyer: (Drooling at the excellent information he is about to get) "Can you get me a list of all those dates he missed and the dates and times of when he was late?"

Client: "Well, I do not remember all the dates, but it is pretty much a couple times a month."

Lawyer: (Rolls his eyes and sighs) "Okay well try to put something together."

The way to combat this is to keep a journal of everything involved in your case or your child's life.  If the parent is always late to pick up the child, document it. If the parent is constantly missing visitations, document it. If your ex says something particularly nasty on the phone in front of the child, document it.

It doesn't have to be anything elaborate, just a simple calendar to refresh your memory down the road. Imagine you get in a courtroom and you are alleging that the other parent is constantly missing visitations. The other parent says that is not true, but does not really seem to have anything to back up their denial. On the other hand, you have your journal and know the exact dates, times and what was said for each missed visitation and can list them out for the judge in detail. Who do you think the judge will believe?

A simple little task, kept up with over time, can have such a HUGE impact on your case.  Remember not to be TOO detailed, as this is not a diary.  Remember that you could be required to give the other side a copy of your journal if you use it at a hearing. If you know that the other side could be reading it, that will help you keep it simple.

Source:  "Journaling in Texas Divorce and Modification Cases" by Chris Schmiedeke, published at his Texas Family Law Blog.

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The following insightful article was originally published at The Orsini & Rose Divorce and Family Law Blog:

Question:  I was given sole custody. I know that means I have full control over where my child goes to school, goes to church, goes to the doctor, etc.  My ex has asked the school to send my child's grades to both of us, not just to me. How do I make the school send the grades only to me?

Answer:  My first question is, why would you want to deny your ex that information? Putting a block between your child and your ex will almost certainly backfire on you. Your child will most likely have a great difficulty understanding why you took a step, however small, to alienate him or her from your ex. Your may distrust your ex, fear your ex, even hate your ex, but your child probably doesn't. Your child, at any age, probably wants a relationship with your ex. I realize there are exceptions to this rule, especially at the older ages where children often become less attached to and dependent on their parents, but you should stay out of it. DON'T DO ANYTHING TO DISTANCE YOUR CHILD FROM YOUR EX unless you have a really, really, REALLY good reason. Like maybe a court order or a provable fear of harm to your child. Notice I said, "provable."

And most judges won't back you up if you try to keep grades from your ex.  Most state's judges are very reluctant to prohibit a parent from seeing the grades of his or her child. Judges do what they can to unite children with estranged parents, and they are very reluctant to do anything that separates children from their parents in any way unless there is evidence of child abuse or some other direct harm to the child.

But that doesn't really answer your question, does it? Despite my warning, if you want to keep the grades from your ex, you can probably get away with it. Show the principal your "sole custody" order, and the school will probably send the grades only to you from that point forward. Your ex may complain to the school, but most school officials would recommend to your ex that the matter be taken up in court. Then they'd continue to send the report cards only to you. Keeping grades from your spouse may be wrong, but you'd probably be successful. Now that I've answered the question, I can only hope you'll use your newfound knowledge for good, not evil.

Source:  "Can I Keep My Child's Grades Away From My Ex?" by Brent Rose, published at The Orsini & Rose Divorce and Family Law Blog.

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This month marks the 3rd anniversary of the SC Family Law Blog.  In addition, I have now published over 800 posts on this blog.  I began this blog as a service to people facing problems and challenges in their lives due to divorce, separation, child custody, visitation, child support, adoption, alimony, etc.  I have received wonderful feedback from my readers over these last few years, and I hope to continue publishing this blog for many years to come.

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The Spartanburg County Detention Facility recently introduced a new feature on its website to enable anyone to search its online records (including mug shots) of its inmates. You can search alphabetically or by booking date. These records are updated regularly, and they are searchable back to September of 2007, whether the inmate is currently incarcerated or not.  You can visit the Jail's website by clicking HERE.

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Why do people get divorce?  Though every couple's relationship is different, the reasons that they split up usually are not as varied as you might think.  I came across an article which listed five main reasons of divorce, and I would concur that these encompass the vast majority of all divorces:

• Communication Problems. A couple may already be experiencing communication problems even before their marriage. Expectations may not have been made clear or certain issues that could affect a marriage were not brought up. Discussing feelings about aspects that are personally important is also crucial but may not always be practiced by couples. Some couples may put little weight on pre-marital issues only to realize during marriage that they should have clearly set things in black and white or that hey should have been better listeners. Communication issues before marriage can get worse after getting married.
• Financial Issues. Another major cause of disagreement between married couples is, of course, financial matters. Married couples could squabble over such issues as shared financial responsibility, unequal financial status, undisclosed financial state, over spending and lack of financial support. Evidence suggests though that money is not always the sole or primary cause of divorce. Nonetheless, it is still a significant factor. Again, the lack of communication over financial issues is the real culprit here and not money per se.
• Forms of Abuse. All forms of abuse are possible causes of divorce. This does not just include intentional and habitual physical battery. Abuse may also come in the form of sexual abuse and emotional abuse. One partner may actively seek to degrade his/her partner through harsh language. In some cases, abuse can also be in the form of a spouse abusing drugs or alcohol or excessive gambling. There may be no physical or verbal abuse but the other partner would understandably have a difficult time managing finances and daily life with an addicted spouse.
• Marital Infidelity. Marriage is a mutually exclusive arrangement between two parties. This is of course unless both partners privately consent on their own to see other people while remaining married to each other. Otherwise, one may seek to divorce a spouse if evidence of infidelity is clearly obtained.
• Sexual Problems. One essential aspect of marriage is sex. Couples are expected to consummate or perform the act. That is unless a person knows and accepts before marriage that one partner has some sexual problems. In some cases, sexual dysfunction or disinterest may begin after tying the knot. If a couple is unable to resolve this, it may become a reason for divorce.

Source:  "5 Main Reasons of Divorce" published at IVPeacefest.

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